Popcorn, Peanuts, Obamaphones

Posted on October 4, 2012


Silly me – I thought the thing to do was to go to the TMobile store and sign up for a 2 year plan or avoid the contract – and just pop for a phone.  You know, cough up some Benjamins”, know what m’sayin?

Boy what a dope I am.  I feel a little disenfranchised.   I don’t have anyone subsidizing my cell phone.  I figure this has to constitutional.  You don’t chip in for a phone for me and you’re infringing my ‘free speech’.   I mean, how can my speech be free unless someone else is paying for it.  Man, I love those founding homies.

I’m a little slim on the cha-ching right now, so I’ve got one of these funky a$$, old skool Nokia thingies that just makes phone calls.  So last century.   Some of those Obama phones look pretty stylin’ compared to the no frills talker that I concealed carry.

I’m doing it wrong evidently.  Why the thought that I could skim off of your cell phone taxes to cut a nuisance monthly expense?  That’s ‘off the hook’!

Tell you what.  I’m keeping my powder dry.  I’m not going to settle for something that trivial.  I figure if I can help the President get his second term, he ought to be able to hook me up with an iPad – gratis.  That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

Know what ‘m sayin?