The Department of Homeland Security has prepared a video for all Americans who are so mentally challenged as to have voted for Barack Obama’s re-election. This video is called ‘Options for consideration’ and its premise is to help the growing number of Americans that are unable to think for themselves or execute simple mental tasks such as figuring out a sensible plan for personal safety in the event of a mass shooting incident along the lines of the Virginia Tech and Sandy Hook Elementary attacks.
This video is alternately tragic and humorous. Tragic that your tax dollars are funding mind numbingly stupid public information videos spelling out things that should intuitively be within the grasp of the average citizen. I say should be, but maybe they know better. Humorous in that the individuals who assembled this video presentation, which is a complete waste of 4 minutes of anyone’s time, have no demonstrable expertise in either evacuation strategies or violence avoidance procedures. Even the SWAT officers who are depicted arriving to respond to a ‘shooter on campus’ type event, seem confused and disorganized.
“If you are caught out in the open and cannot conceal yourself or take cover, you might consider trying to overpower the shooter with whatever means are available,” says the narrator in the video, which shows an office worker pulling scissors out of a desk drawer.
Huh? Scissors? Really? You, as a law abiding citizen should be deprived the right to concealed carry, but now are being recommended to confront a shooter with nothing more deadly than a pair of scissors? They scraped the bottom of the barrel to find ‘security experts’ incompetent enough (or dishonest enough) to endorse such a course of action. Don’t worry, Diane Feinkenstein’s bill now in the Senate, will make ammo magazines holding more than 10 rounds inaccessible to mentally disturbed mass killers, so you will have at least between 1 and 2 seconds, while the shooter is switching magazines, to rummage through your desk drawer for some sharp object and attack the shooter. I suppose that could happen. I suppose I could train to be a Master Chef by next Wednesday too. Couldn’t they have shown people taking fencing instruction with letter openers?
This video should have been contracted out to the guys in Monty Python to produce. If it didn’t make any more sense or contain anymore useful information, it would have at least had some entertainment value. I can just see John Cleese running the ladies down at the Department of Motor Vehicles through some personal protection drills. How could you go wrong?
Other survival strategies promoted in the video include hiding “behind large items such as cabinets or desks. Remain quiet. Silence your cellphone or pager. Even the vibration setting can give away a hiding position.” Yes, that’s right – everyone knows that high velocity bullets are no match for office furniture and doors made from compressed sawdust.
I love the advice they give about calling 911 and giving the dispatcher explicit details on the description of the alleged shooter, how many and what type of weapons he’s wielding, etc. If you have this much intel with which to disseminate to the 911 attendant, that means you’ve seen the shooter and he’s seen you and you’re probably already full of bullet holes and most likely dead or dying.
You know what though? – this film is a nice gesture on the part of DHS, because even though the authorities can’t trust you with anything lethal enough with which to defend yourself from a demented, evil bastard with a firearm, they at least want you to know that they care about you and they are concerned.
Well, they should – shouldn’t they? After all, it’s their job to care. And aren’t you glad they do?